In honour of Trixx History Month, we are proud to present Trixx: The Final Mistrial Show happening inside the Jane Mallett Theatre (St. Lawrence Centre for the Arts) on Saturday, March 17, 2012 8 PM sharp! Tickets on sale at: www.stlc.com – click on EARLY BIRD when purchasing for special rates this month. See you there!
Trixx: The Final Mistrial
Saturday, March 17th, 2012
8 PM
Tickets on sale: www.stlc.com
Do you remember when “Macho Man” Randy Savage stood on top of the top rope and drilled a bell into the throat of Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat? I sure do. I remember sitting in front of that television as a kid trying to figure out if that shit was real or fake. I mean, I actually thought Ricky Steamboat was gone and was never coming back until he showed up weeks later setting up perhaps the most legendary and arguably the greatest match every to grace a wrestling ring in history at Wrestlemania 3. 98 thousand fucking people. Wrestlemania 3. The night I questioned how on earth Hulk Hogan was gonna win. I mean c’mon. As a kid, the notion of someone passing the torch or putting someone over didn’t cross my mind. All I could think about was the fact that Hogan never loses, then again neither does Andre. How on earth was he gonna pick this dude up? When Hogan slammed Andre the Giant though, that was it for me. I thought Hogan was gonna be the champ forever. I mean poor everyone else all auditioning all year as to who would lose to Hogan at every single Wrestlemania. Funny thing was, I was actually fine with that.
Those are memories that will last forever as a wrestling fan. I mean, I’m a grown ass adult still watching the shitty version of a reality show known as Monday Night RAW. But, you know what? I’m probably gonna watch it again and again and again. Not because I wanna see the divas who don’t possess half the power Moolah did. Well, maybe Natalya and Beth Phoenix. Sorry, but if you’re gonna try and convince me that Kelly Kelly is the closest thing we got to a Wendy Richter, then I’d rather watch Horsnwoggle still try to pass off the fact that he’s only recently been given the ability to talk. Fuck, I miss the old days. I miss the days where I could truly look forward to a Pay Per View. The days where there were like 4 or 5 for the year. I guess since this generation’s attention span is as attentive as me paying attention to the WNBA, I see why there’s a Pay Per View every single 5 minutes now, but back in the day we could wait. Even though all we got was those Saturday Wrestling Superstar shows with the rare Saturday Night’s Main Event or the occasional Maple Leaf Wrestling show that showed matches from the legendary Maple Gardens in Toronto, Ontario Canada, we could still wait for a Pay Per View. Remember Maple Leaf Gardens? Shit, I remember the wrestlers walking down this platform that was pretty much the same height as the ring. The shit looked like a runway for models. That’s what they used. As a kid, I didn’t care. Now? Hilarious.
In a way, it’s both cool and weird that grown men still excited for wrestling. It’s weird because we know it’s fake. we know it isn’t a real sport. We know that it’s the characters that we fall in love with, not the actual guy who’s playing the role. Or do we? How many of us really separate these characters from reality. I mean it’s not like if I was to walk by the Rock, I’d be like, “Hey Dwayne, how’s it going man?”. Nope! I’d probably lose it if i saw him, slapping my friend repeatedly on the back, jumping up and down yelling ” Oh my gosh, it’s the Rock”. knowing, he’s playing a character. Think about that. How cool and weird is that we’ve let these guys that deep into our lives that we actually believe their characters. Maybe that’s why there will always be a part of me that won’t let wrestling go. Maybe we as fans don’t want to.
TO BE CONTINUED......
Looking for something hilarious to do once Christmas is over?
Trixx hits Jamaica for a special appearance with some of the island’s top comedians. The 8th edition of the “Christmas Comedy Cook-Up” takes place on Boxing Day, Monday December 26th at The Jamaica Pegasus Hotel.
More tour dates going into next year! If you’re in Toronto, don’t forget to kick off your New Year’s Eve the right way, with laughter courtesy of TRIXX! See the details below…
Dec 26 – Christmas Comedy CookUp 2011, Kingston, Jamaica
Dec 30 – Afri-Caribbean Comedy Revue – Starlight Ballroom, Philadelphia, PN
Dec 31 – Yuk Yuk’s Show, Massey Hall, Toronto, ON
January 2012
19-21 – Yuk Yuk’s – Halifax
26-29 – Yuk Yuk’s – St. John’s
February 2012
3 – Harbourfront show – Toronto, ON
18 – Comedy Show – Ottawa, ON
19 – Michael Blackson Show – Yuk Yuk’s – Toronto, ON
March 2012
2-4 – Real Deal Comedy Show – London, England
8-10 – Yuk Yuk’s – Mississauga
24 – Trixx B-Day Party, Toronto, ON
Honestly, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only loser who still loves wrestling. I mean i know it isn’t a real sport. I can almost predict every match’s outcome. I mean I can even see the wrestlers give each other instructions on what to do next in the ring. But, for some strange reason, I know that each and every Monday night I wanna be home to see what happens next on Monday Night RAW. My friends always ask me ” Dude, you still watch that shit? I can’t tell you the last time i watched that shit.” The funny thing is, i can remember the last time i watched it. And for some reason, i don’t care because next Monday, i ‘ll probably try to catch the repeat episode.
What is it? I mean my heroes that used to make me get up as early as possible on Saturday mornings to watch weren’t there. Sad. because the ones who are still around are old, shitty respected versions of themselves. Or they died. I mean c’mon, when I was a kid, Hulk Hogan was everything. He’s the reason I even started watching wrestling to begin with. Do you really think I cared when he’d make a rare appearance on that Saturday show Superstars only to face some dumbass named Charles or Jim, who always happened to be in the ring as soon they came back from commercials? I didn’t care. It was Hulk Hogan man. That was a Saturday ritual. Breakfast, Rocket Robin Hood, Hulk Hogan’s Rock N Roll Wrestling cartoon then Superstars. Shit, i even remember my dad buying those rubber wrestling dolls every week. I had at least 30 of em.
I miss that shit. Maybe that’s why I still watch. The memories. The excitement of pay per view back then when you couldn’t order the shit from you television. You had to either wait for you Dad’s wrestling fanatic friend who could afford sattelite at the time to tape it on a shitty VHS tape then give it to you, or you had to watch at your local pub. Only way you were allowed to watch it was to buy something. Wasted money on chicken wings everytime. But i miss that shit. I miss grabbing cardboard boxes and making title belts. Remember the ones with the flags of other countries on the straps? yeah those ones. All the kids wanted to be Hulk Hogan. Nobody wanted to be Roddy piper his arch nemesis at the time. I mean if you were, it was by choice because your little child mind assumed hogan won everything. What am i saying, he did. If he lost, children fuckin cried in unison all around the world like it was famine. Remember that night when Hogan lost the title to Andre the Giant because there were 2 refs? Remember? Because The Million Dollar Man had paid off one of em. That’s the night I found out Earl Hebner had a twin brother. That also was the night Hogan actually lost for the first time in 4 years since he beat the Iron Sheik. Children cried all over the world. I cried because my Hogan doll’s paint was peeling and I knew i wasn’t gettin another one. That was the day I discovered wrestling might actually be…..human…….
TO BE CONTINUED
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